NRE | Drug Warning Label
Warning: NRE (New Relationship Energy)
Active Ingredient: 100mg of Delusion mixed with 100% Pure Infatuation
Uses:
Temporarily fills the void where self-esteem and logical thinking should reside.
Provides a quick fix for those moments when introspection is just too painful and you'd rather lose yourself in someone else’s red flags disguised as charm.
Ideal for creating the illusion that this time, it’s definitely going to work out, despite all the evidence to the contrary.
Dosage and Administration:
Take immediately upon receiving the slightest bit of attention from another human being. Best if washed down with a strong shot of denial and a complete disregard for personal boundaries.
Repeat as necessary until reality inevitably sets in or until your friends stage an intervention.
Side Effects May Include:
Chronic daydreaming, excessive texting, and a sudden interest in activities you actually despise but now pretend to enjoy because "they're into it."
Temporary blindness to obvious flaws, unexplainable fondness for cheesy pet names, and the sudden, severe need to convince everyone, including yourself, that “this one’s different.”
A temporary surge in self-worth followed by a catastrophic crash, often leaving you questioning your life choices while binge-watching Netflix alone in the dark with a pint of ice cream.
Warning:
Prolonged use of NRE may lead to disastrous life decisions such as moving in together after two weeks, getting a tattoo of their name, or introducing them to your parents as "the one" before remembering your track record.
May cause severe personality changes, including becoming the person who won't shut up about their new relationship, much to the irritation of your single friends (who know exactly how this story ends).
Interactions:
Dangerous when mixed with loneliness, as it can result in a potent cocktail of desperation and poor decisions.
Combining NRE with social media may lead to an outbreak of embarrassing public displays of affection that will haunt you later when the relationship inevitably crashes and burns.
Keep Out of Reach of Your Better Judgment:
The inevitable crash from NRE can leave you reeling, wondering how you could’ve been so blind, and why you keep doing this to yourself.
Consult Your Therapist:
If you find yourself reaching for NRE repeatedly, it may be time to talk to someone about why you keep falling into the same patterns. Spoiler alert: It’s not just bad luck—it might be you.
Desired Outcome:
If handled with care, NRE can serve as a bridge to LTR (Long-Term Relationship) Energy, where the initial rush gives way to deep, meaningful connection. By navigating the highs responsibly, recognizing the pitfalls, and keeping your wits about you, you might just transform that wild, dizzying start into something real and lasting.
Note:
NRE is not recommended for those who have just sworn off dating “for real this time” after the last fiasco. But if you're committed to ignoring all the warning signs and repeating your mistakes with reckless abandon, enjoy the ride while it lasts!
